Adults only (18+). This site discusses sexuality, fetishes and BDSM for educational purposes. By continuing you confirm you are 18 or older, or the age of majority where you live if that is higher. Legal policies

gay kink, fetish & bdsm resources

Free, plain-language guides for gay, bi, trans and queer people exploring kink, fetish, leather and BDSM: how to negotiate and play more safely, sexual health, coming out, finding community, and dictionaries of the words you'll hear along the way. No sign-up, nothing to buy.

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guides

negotiation & limits

The talk before a scene: limits, safewords, health and aftercare, with a printable yes / no / maybe list.

bdsm safety

What goes in a scene kit, bondage and rope safety, an impact play body map, and when to get medical help.

sexual health

PrEP, PEP, DoxyPEP, U=U, how often to test, vaccines, and chemsex harm reduction.

coming out

Questioning your sexuality, gender or kinks, and coming out safely at your own pace.

finding community

LGBTQ+ centres, Pride, munches, leather and bear clubs, sober spaces and online groups.

support & crisis lines

Free, confidential support lines worldwide, including LGBTQIA+, trans and kink-aware ones.

fetish references

fetish & kink dictionary

Fetishes and kinks with definitions, icons and the codes used to reference them.

pride flags

Sexuality, gender identity and fetish pride flags, with their history and symbolism.

hanky code

What each bandana colour means, worn on the left or the right.

bear code

The bear code’s 15 traits, their scales, and the punctuation that modifies them.

events calendar

Month by month: the big leather, rubber, pup and bear events, from Mid-Atlantic Leather and IML to Folsom.

visitor profiles

Read visitors’ stories about sexuality, gender, fetish and kink, or submit your own.

and more

about me

The person behind gayfetishgoth.com: a fetish hedonist in New York who paints, sculpts, writes and photographs.

writing & blog

Essays and posts on kink, relationships and identity, from 2010 on.

fetish links

Gay fetish and kink communities, shops, personal sites and resources.

contact

Questions, corrections or something to share.